To: Mr. The Silent Dagger <red.dagger@darknet589.org>

Dear Mr. Dagger,

You have been nominated to represent your professional community in the Global Who’s Who 2015 Edition. The largest online community of professionals.

We are very pleased to inform you that your candidacy has been approved. Congratulations!

The Publishing Committee has selected you as a potential candidate, based on your standing amongst your professional community as well as specific criteria from the executive and professional council. Given your reputation, the Publishing Director feels your profile would make a welcome addition to our publication.

Since we are using our secondary resources, you must verify with us that your current profile is accurate. After your information is verified, your online listing will be approved within 7 business days.

Please click here to verify your profile and to formally accept the candidacy.

On behalf of our Committee I would like to salute your achievements and welcome you to our association.

Deepest Regards,
Montgomery Hallicrafter, Registry Director
Global Who’s Who Not At All A Scam Directory

Dear Mr. Hallicrafter:

Thank you for your inquiry. While I am indeed gratified at one level to have been chosen to represent my professional community, I feel compelled to warn you that my professional community has not sought nor will it welcome the public spotlight. You would not, I presume, be so reckless as to contact me without being aware of the nature of my profession, which—while sometimes sanctioned by certain government agencies—occupies what could charitably be described as a legal grey area at best, and therefore prefers to remain in the shadows.

With your indulgence, then, I will decline from clicking to verify my profile (which I presume mentions my specialty in remote high-velocity lead-based witness solutions) and will simply confirm my identity in person, at a time and place of my choosing. You will understand that I cannot provide advance notice of my arrival, but I can assure you it will be unexpected, completely convincing and—very briefly—exciting.

I trust it will also serve as my email unsubscription notice to the surviving members of your organization.

Sincerely yours,

The Silent Dagger

P.S.—We would be greatly intrigued to know from which “secondary sources” you derived this email address. Might this information be extracted from you with a minimum of unpleasantness?