Hockey coach to a girls’ team, shortly before taking them to eat at McDonald’s, in an ad for the restaurant chain:
“You played like Olympians. So today, we eat like Olympians.”

From the discarded footage immediately afterward:

Uh, yeah, coach? Speaking as team captain, I appreciate the thought – we all do – but are you sure that’s how Olympians eat?

I know they’re sponsors, and I know they paid a lot of money for the privilege. But isn’t the Olympic spirit supposed to be about self-denial in support of a dream? Isn’t it about pursuing excellence, about standing out from the crowd, about profound respect for ourselves in body, mind and spirit?

And isn’t McDonald’s about the exact opposite? About instant gratification at the expense of nutrition, and about uniformity of experience at the expense of extraordinary achievement?

I mean, yeah, we did come up short today… and part of the reason could be that we’ve been eating a lot of after-hockey meals of Big Macs.

I know you want to reward us for our perseverance and effort. But maybe the way to do that isn’t by undercutting our dedication, but celebrating it and supporting it.

Oh, no, I do like being team captain. Why do you ask?