Are you eager to track your social media influence? Desperate to boil down the complex intricacies of human interaction into a single number? Of course you are!

But you’re also probably sick of getting results that suggest you could be doing better if only you had more followers… retweeted more often… wrote more interesting blog posts… or, y’know, really worked at it.

Well, my friend, do I have the social media measurement instrument for you. Carefully calibrated, precision-coded and guaranteed accurate to .025 microScobles, the Influ-a-rama-matic Pro 2.0 is nothing less than the greatest web application in the history of humanity.

Take it for a spin!