5:50 pm – I hope you’ll find this useful. I’ll be blogging throughout the State of the Union address, providing live commentary and value-added insights throughout as I watch the coverage on live TV.

5:55 pm – Where’s the remote?

5:58 pm – No, seriously, I can’t find the remote, and I can’t switch the goddamn TV away from my kid’s “Madagascar” DVD menu.

6:11:45 pm – If anyone out there has been to my living room recently, and knows the whereabouts of the remote, please use the comments to tell me where it is.

6:12 pm – Great. Unless Bush has somehow been replaced by a talking zebra played by Chris Rock, I’m screwed.

6:13 pm – Hey – maybe I can get a streaming video feed online.

6:19 pm – Could somebody tell me if Bush has promised federal legislation that would make it illegal on pain of death to stream the SotU address using that piece of crap Windows Media Player?

6:30 pm – Hey, Kos has the text posted on his site. Give me a sec to read it.

6:31 pm – Sweetheart, Daddy’s trying to liveblog the State of the Union Address. Can we play funny sound effects on Daddy’s computer later? Oh. Oh, come on, sweetie, don’t cry. Please.

6:32 pm – belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3 belching-noise.mp3

6:44 pm – farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3 farting-noise.mp3

6:51 pm – Okay, I think I have her distracted with a book. Let me check back on Kos.

6:51:09 pm – Dammit.

6:51:11 pm – honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3 honking-nose-noise.mp3

6:57 pm – baby-beluga.mp3 baby-beluga.mp3

7:00 pm – What are you playing with, sweetheart? Is that… ah. The remote. Can Daddy have it, please? Here, can I just… just have it for a moment… please, just let go, just for a—

7:00:25 pm – raffi-bananaphone.mp3 raffi-bananaphone.mp3 raffi-bananaphone.mp3 raffi-bananaphone.mp3 raffi-bananaphone.mp3 raffi-bananaphone.mp3

7:15 pm – Oh, no, honey, please don’t hold the glass of juice over Daddy’s keyboard. No, sweetie, I’m worried you’ll sp$**#@9mgTs••••!~

Mastodon