“Attention, valued viewers:

“The next thirty seconds were going to be devoted to a public service ad raising awareness of prostate cancer and potentially saving thousands of men’s lives. The ad comes from the Prostate Centre at Vancouver General Hospital.

“However, in the interests of defending the sensitivity of our viewers and preserving the dignity of Canadian broadcasting, we have declined to air this ad. It was simply too… what’s the phrase the kids use?… over the top.

“Instead, we return you to our wholesome hour-long programming of people eating animal penises, deer testicles and horse rectums.”