Greatest hits: Twitter

Prosecutor introduces evidence from a defendant's Twitter feed

(marriage counselor to couple) What I'm hearing from Kenneth, Carmen, is that sometimes he feels too vulnerable to come out and ask for a retweet.

(gate agent to passenger) I'll need to see your passport and boarding pass. Unless you'd prefer to authenticate using Twitter.

(brainstorming session) Suppose we run a contest where people retweet our ad repeatedly, and the winner's whoever loses the most followers.

(mediator to Palestinian and Israeli negotiators) So it's agreed: an immediate cessation of hostilities, a two-state solution, and you'll both #followfriday each other.

(actress to a director) For my audition, I'd like to read selections from the Twitter feed of @FakeAPStylebook.

(two people in a post-apocalyptic landscape) I don't know how much longer we can withstand this Twitter outage.

(woman on sofa to man) I can't talk to you right now. I'm catching up on your tweets.

(man at door, late at night) Hi! We've never met, but I noticed you've stopped following me on Twitter. Mind if I ask why?

(candlelit vigil, with one person explaining to another) Twitter's down.

(man walks down the street, looking at his Twitter updates informing him he is being followed by many new people... including a menacing giant)

(mother chastising son walking in the door late at night) Would it kill you to update your Twitter status if you're going to stay out so late?

5 Comments

I like the 4th one most. It's very true. A neighbor living next door for 20 year who never bothered to talk to you more than three words would probably get in touch with you because of Twitter. It makes me wonder if the online social network makes us closer to even more separated from each other.

The 6th one (the guy walking down the street with a big hand following him) made me laugh out loud so hard, my neighbors are knocking on the door & asking if I'm OK! ROTFLOL!!

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