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(two women talking) He's the kind of guy you'd like as a Facebook friend, but not as a friend friend(teams of developers, facing off) Browser War Re-enactors(man talking to woman at bar) That status line was a long time ago. I'm a different person now.(woman to man at bar who is using mobile phone) What are you doing..? Omigod! You're checking out my LinkedIn profile, aren't you?!(woman in bed with penguin, to angry husband) Oh, come one. You must have suspected SOMETHING when I switched to Linux.(woman at door, to candidate) Look, I'm sorry - there's just no way I can vote for a candidate who'd use Comic Sans as body type.(man holding woman's hand) I'm so glad you agreed to meet in person. There are some things that just can't be said in 140 characters.(woman looking at computer while partner sneaks out the door, carrying luggage) Heh... check out this Facebook bug. It just changed my relationship status to 'single'.(woman in bed to man) I'm glad you enjoyed that. People who liked that technique also enjoyed these other sexual techniques...(man using mobile phone in hospital, to partner who is in labor) Check it out, honey! Twitter 'replies' now include 'mentions'!(woman using laptop, to man) I can't talk to you right now. I'm catching up on your tweets.(woman to man in bed) The following may be recorded for quality assurance purposes.(man to woman) I don't think I really understood the digital divide until you got a faster computer than mine.(concerned man to woman) Whoa! That post is going to get you kicked out of social media!(one person attacked by a monster, to another person) Remind me - which bucket does this kind of situation belong in?Disgruntled actor: Gracious, shmacious. I'm damned if I'm going to applaud when I've been beaten for best actor by an Xtranormal character.(a passenger deliberately bores her seatmate with stories of a frustrating executive director, to prevent him from boring her with stories about his grandkids)(two people about to bury a body) This is the last time. After this, we're even for the time you lent me that dongle I needed for my presentation.Steve Jobs' black turtleneck hangs next to Gretzky's hockey sweater(flying lizards eat a fleeing populace. One person tells another) So far, the new normal sucks.(frustrated laptop user) Well, that was a total waste. I just thought of an idea that's too long for Twitter, too short for Google+ and too smart for Facebook(Terminator robots hunt for two people in a post-apocalyptic future - one of them tells the other) Oh, that reminds me - Happy Cyber Monday.(man on talk show tells host) I got famous the same way everyone else does these days: my Reddit IAmA got turned into a blockbuster summer movie.Woman has dumped drink on man's head. Man's friend says 'I'd say the key metric here is your bounce rate.'(woman looks at smartphone while coworker assembles odd little devices) Our days as anonymous builders of reality distortion field emitters may be over.

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